Patrick Tries Out For American Idol
by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: What happens when everyone's favorite pink starfish tries out for America's number 1 singing reality show competition? Well... it's may be very unexpected than you think. SpongeBob SquarePants/American Idol cross-over.


**Patrick Tries Out For American Idol**

 **Rated K+**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own anything associated with SpongeBob SquarePants or American Idol. SpongeBob SquarePants is owned by Nickelodeon and American Idol is owned by FOX. Anyway, what would happen if Patrick were to sign up for a singing reality show, I don't know, let's say American Idol? Well... this is what happens. Warning: It may be a little unsafe.**

* * *

There was a fat starfish standing inside a green room with a huge yellow sticker that said "203" on his tummy. There was also an American Idol logo imprinted on the yellow sticker as well, which would indicate that Patrick was auditioning for the show itself.

So as he was waiting, the cameraman tried to get Patrick's thoughts.

"So Mr. Star, how do you think you'll do." The cameraman asked him.

"I'll do just fine!" Patrick exclaimed. "My mom says I have the voice of an angel!"

"Yeah, let's hope that's true..." The cameraman shivered, fearing for the worst. "Anyway, just do the best you can and have fun."

"Okay." Patrick nodded.

Back at the audition stage, the three judges, which were named Randy Jackson, Paula Abdul, and Simon Cowell, were busy filing some papers for the next contestant to come on out. Hyman had a disgusting look on his face for some reason.

"Oh bloody hell," Simon groaned. "That bloke was just awful. I mean, she sang like a cat having sex with a piece of pie."

"I don't know how much I can take of this awful singing." Paula sighed.

"Hopefully, this next guy's better than all of the rest," Randy nodded as he shouted for the next contestant to come out. "Okay, next!"

To their stunned silence, they saw Patrick come out of the curtain and appear alongside the three judges. Randy and Paula's mouth were agape while Hyman was at a loss for words. They didn't know what disturbed them more. The fact that they saw a fat pink starfish come to life or the reason that someone that animated could appear in the real-world just like that.

Either way, they decided to welcome him with open arms.

"Hello, there!" Paula exclaimed. "What's your name and where are you from?"

"I'm Patrick, and I live under a rock." Patrick replied.

"I think what Paula is trying to say is where you are from, not where you live, dawg." Randy replied.

"Ok," Patrick informed Randy. "I'm Patrick Star, and I'm from under a rock."

"Good enough for me," Simon sighed. "Show us what you got."

"Okay!" The starfish nodded. "This song is called 'I Wrote This'. Enjoy."

After a deep breath, Patrick began singing his song to the judges (quite horribly).

 _Twinkle, Twinkle, Patrick Star!_

 _I made myself a sandwich,  
_ _My Mommy named it Fred.  
_ _It tastes like beans and bacon  
_ _And smells like it's been dead._

 _Writing stuff is hard so I use a pointy pencil,_  
 _Pointy pointy pointy, pointy pointy point!  
_ _P.U, what's that horrible smell?!_

 _Drum solo!_

To make a mini intermission, Patrick started imitating the drums, making him look like he was playing the instrument. After the air drum solo, he kept on singing his song.

 _I have a head, that ends in a point  
_ _Pointy pointy pointy, pointy pointy point.  
_ _This song is over, except for this line:  
_ _You win this round, Broccoli!_

After the song was over, Patrick gave out a deep breath.

"So, what did you think?" He replied.

The judges had become speechless again. They didn't know how to react or how to respond to something so dreaded and so shocking as this. After several minutes, the judges had found the best way to respond.

* * *

Back at Bikini Bottom, SpongeBob appeared at his living room with a tub of popcorn in hand. Waiting for him on the couch was his pet snail, Gary. Apparently, they were getting ready to watch his best friend audition for the show. They were so anticipating for this moment.

"Oooh Gary, I can't wait for Patrick to achieve his dream!" SpongeBob replied. "I feel so excited I could burst! Don't you, Gary?"

"Meow..." Gary muttered.

"For the last time, Gary, you don't need to go to the bathroom." SpongeBob sighed. "You can hold it in when Patrick's audition is over. It's important to be there for him, even when we're not exactly there. Get ready Gary to see history in the making!"

Not holding the anticipation much longer, SpongeBob turned on the TV...

...

...

...only to see a 'breaking news' alert appear.

 _"Hello, Bikini Bottom,"_ The reporter, Perch Perkins said. _"I have some breaking news to report. It seems that today's showing of "American Idol" will not be seen tonight, due to the riot that took place in Texas. For instances, cars and windows were smashed everywhere, fires broke out, violent shootings occured and in very grim circumstances, hundred lives were claimed. What started this riot was Bikini Bottom's own Patrick Star's butchering of the god-awful song known as 'I Wrote This'. The rendition of the song forced the entire three judges of the show to throw themselves off to a window and plummet right to the ground. Luckily, they both survived the impact, only causing minor injuries. The host however was not so lucky, as he was brutally beaten from the riot. He suffered injuries so internal, he was put in a respirator. From the doctors's standpoint, it may take him an entire two years to recover from his injuries. Because of the huge riot, the producers have no choice but to cancel American Idol entirely from it's lineup. Instead, the show shall be replaced by a 24-hour marathon of House Fancy! Until then, this is Perch Perkins saying 'Good night', and 'may God help us all'."_

Spongebob was in shock. He was so much in shock that he turned off the TV. And to think hearing that song from Bikini Bottom was worse enough, hearing that song in Texas was the frickin' motherlode. With a gulp, SpongeBob turned to Gary and gave him a dire warning: _  
_

"We never saw or heard this, okay, Gary? Never have. Never will."

Nodding in response, both Gary and SpongeBob walked away, forgetting the disaster that his fat starfish friend had caused in the open world.

* * *

 **Huh, I never really thought that something like this would happen for sure. But I could totally see Patrick doing this, just to terrify everyone who hears him sing.**

 **It's a good thing that American Idol's finally coming to end after 15 seasons. The ratings definitely hurt the show too much. Plus, everyone seems to like The Voice better than American Idol. I think that was the cause.**

 **Anyway, feedbacks are appreciated. Until next time, this is UltimateWarriorFan4Ever signing off!**


End file.
